Spiritual Leadership Book

The pastoral staff is on a journey to read 1 book a month together and then share the 2 most personal takeaways from the book that we read. 

This month’s book is Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders. This book has been around many years but this is my first time reading it. It is chalked full of leadership principles that are Scripturally based. I loved it and will be reading this book again. It had many principles that were thought provoking and challenging. 

Quick Hitters

In this section of the book review, I will point out some sections of the book that I especially liked and will try to use in my own life, character, and/or ministry.

1. “In the same way, appointing leaders with a secular or materialistic outlook prevents the Holy Spirit from making spiritual progress in that place.”

“[S]piritual leadership transcends the power of personality and all other natural gifts. The personality of the spiritual leader influences others because it is penetrated, saturated, and empowered by the Holy Spirit.”

Many leaders confidently lead from their own ideas and direction. The trait that makes spiritual leadership different than leadership is the leading and guiding of the Holy Spirit. When our churches and organizations are lead by secular leadership and business principles instead of the Holy Spirit their will be no discipleship and no blessing from the Lord. The Church is to be the influencer for society instead of society being the influencer for the Church. When we are led by the Spirit we will see results in this world and the next. When we are led by our flesh and our own strength we end up sabotaging the very people we are leading. There are costly repercussions for leading without the guidance and presence of the Holy Spirit. 

2. “They were not leaders because of brilliancy of thought, because they were exhaustless in resources, because of their magnificent culture or native endowment, but because, by the power of prayer, they could command the power of God.”

This idea of the power of prayer takes the pressure off the leader. One doesn’t need to have all the skills or knowledge. They need the discipline of prayer and their dedication to communion with God. Oswald talks a lot about people are moved by God through prayer by the leader. Sometimes we forget how important prayer is for leadership and success in life and ministry. 

Spiritual Leadership is very challenging to your soul and as a leader. It is a foundational leadership that should be read by all. We need this type of leadership back in the Church and in the world. 

Read the rest of the book for yourself. There is much more to learn and only a limited amount of time.

What’s Your Mark?

Over the past few weeks I have been thinking about what my mark is on my current place of ministry. I have been at Bethel Church for 4 years in December 2015. 4 years is long enough that you should be able to look around and see programs, people, and/or places that you have influenced as the leader. As I had this thought and reflected I had two thoughts that were counter-intuitive to each other. Take time this week to think of what is your mark? What has been accomplished since you have been at your current place of ministry? The results will probably lead you to the same two thoughts that I had.

1. You have left a bigger mark than you realize.

In my reflections about my mark and influence at Bethel I first thought that I haven’t really left any mark of significance. I haven’t really started any new ministries or any new initiatives. Since this is my first full-time position I have been primarily a manager. I have spent a lot of time just trying to stay afloat. From my perspective I can see that I haven’t accomplished that much. I want so much more. Then I had an encouraging thought. I have made a difference in people’s lives. I haven’t done or started magnificent things that have revolutionized my church or the kidmin community, but I have influenced individuals. Isn’t that what ministry is all about? Think of the notes or cards you have received. Think of the hugs from countless kids that you have embraced. Thanks be to God! You have left a bigger mark than you realize.

2.You haven’t left your mark as much as you want. 

Leaders are hungry for change. Leaders aim for success. If you call yourself a leader then inevitably you have much more to give and much more passion to leave your mark wherever you go. When you look around your ministry and your sphere of influence you can see all the holes and opportunities to leave your mark. We see the opportunities and dream of the possibilities. No matter how long you have been in ministry never lose become complacent and think that you have arrived. Never think that you have left your mark as much as you possibly can. When you come to this point you might as well call AARP and call it quits.

There is a balance between these two thoughts.

What’s your mark?

Do Over by Jon Acuff Book Review

Sometimes people come along and speak into your life and help you navigate through life. You hopefully have friends and relationships that will give you guidance and help you think through all that life brings. I am so glad that these people don’t always have to be people that you know personally. You can learn from historical figures, famous personalities, leaders in your field, and authors/bloggers.

Jon Acuff and his book, Do Over, spoke into my life and helped prepare me in my ministry as a kids pastor. This book is all about career transitions no matter what your field. I have had the pleasure of being at my first full-time ministry position for four years. Even though I haven’t had many Do Over’s yet in my ministry life, I know it isn’t much longer before it catches up to me.

The one question most of us our asking is, “Can I make it?” The reason why so many of us stay in a position too long is FEAR and COMPLACENCY. We are afraid we won’t succeed. That we don’t have what it takes. If we aren’t afraid we are lazy. We either are stuck in fear or stuck in complacency.

Acuff helps us see what we need to have to make our inevitable career/ministry Do Over as smooth and as positive as possible. There are four types of transitions: career ceilings, career bumps, career jumps, and career opportunities. Some are voluntary and some are involuntary. Either way we have to be ready for these transitions by making constant investments into our Career Savings Account.

The four investments we need to make are: relationships, skills, character, and hustle.

Quick Hitters

In this section of the book review, I will point out some sections of the book that I especially liked and will try to use in my own life, character, and/or ministry.

1. “When you jump your character jumps with you.” No matter what type of Do Over you make your character is the one thing that always goes with you. When you aren’t sure if you have the skills or the knowledge make sure you at least have character. Character is what people will follow and remember about you when you move on. Your character will keep you striving to be the best. You will be able to transition smoothly as you care for people and show them empathy. People won’t follow you until they know how much you care. Don’t leave your character behind.

2. “If relationships are who you know, skills what you do, and character who you are, hustle is how you work on each.” When I first saw hustle I assumed Jon Acuff just meant work harder, get up early, and stay at work later, but I was wrong. Hustle means working smarter not harder. To be ready for your Do Over you have to hustle to make the right relationships, develop the right skills, and for the right character. Hustle requires awareness as to the season of life, flexibility to change your dreams and make adjustments to your goals. I know I need to hustle on all three. This book has given me direction and clarity as to what I need to focus on.

3. “Advocates and mentors know all the cheat codes…If you listen, they will give them to you.” Growing up playing video games from time to time with my brothers the one with all codes always wins. It was never fair when one of my brothers had cheat codes and I didn’t. I am stubborn so I never liked cheat codes, but if I didn’t play with cheat codes I lost every time. I guess it’s time to play with cheat codes. There are many people who have already gone through ministry struggles and they are more than willing to give you guidance. We just need to swallow our pride and ask for help. Stop being so stubborn.

1. “When you jump your character jumps with you.”

2. “If relationships are who you know, skills what you do, and character who you are, hustle is how you work on each.”

3. “Advocates and mentors know all the cheat codes…If you listen, they will give them to you.”

Now back to FEAR. We all deal with FEAR. I love how Acuff concludes his book, Do Over. He talks about that question that we all ask, “You really think you can do this?” Through Jon Acuff’s book, Do Over, you will learn that when you hustle in the categories of relationships, skills, and character, “Apparently, you can.”

What a great book that gives you the courage and the steps to make your next Do Over. Read the rest of the book for yourself. There is much more to learn and only a limited amount of time.

Start With Why Book Review

Just like most of you who have heard of and read one of Simon Sinek’s books, I heard about him first during his TED talk that has been watched by thousand.

He is a great communicator and has a great theory that is presented and discussed in his book, Start With Why. Sinek talks about “the golden circle” and how it is built and used as a megaphone to communicate the vision and passion of the leader and/or organization. His passion is to inspire people to inspire others and I feel Simon Sinek was able to accomplish that in this book. After reading the book, I was inspired to communicate differently and be crystal clear in why I do what I do. This book gave me direction and organization to what is in my heart and spirit. His book goes to the top of my list and was a book that I needed to read in this stage in my life and ministry. This is a great book for anyone that wants to be a great leader and discovering the important things to communicate.

The Golden Circle

 

Quick Hitters

In this section of the book review, I will point out some sections of the book that I especially liked and will try to use in my own life, character, and/or ministry.

1. The essence of this book, Start With Why, is the first quick hitter. Start with why instead of what you do. Many organizations know what they do and make that their focus. But this book argues to communicate why first before communicating how you do it or what you are doing. Without the why the organization or ministry will not be as successful and focused as it could be. It is hard to do this because the way we communicate and listen at the biological level is that why cannot be communicate with words very well. The part that is easy to communicate is what. Do you want to take the easy way and communicate what or do you want to take the hard way, but the right way, and communicate the why. Start with WHY.

2. The goal is to inspire people to move forward and want to move forward with the organization and ministry. A lot of leaders get followers for a short time by using manipulations. In the business sector this is seen through sales, low prices, and advertisement. In ministry this can be seen in advertisements, decorations, events. While these things might get kids and families inside the doors it will not keep them there. When we communicate starting with why and inspire people they are more likely to stay and get connected. When we use manipulations you have to continue to one up yourself and other organizations in the same area. Manipulations aren’t sustainable and will make it harder to minister to people. Use manipulations sparingly.

3. The last quick hitter is about building the right team. No matter how great someone is at having vision and communicating that to the rest of society they need others that know how to put it I to reality. Most people that have a why are not very good at making that a reality and knowing all the nuts and bolts to make it happen. If you look at all those leaders that inspired others they had someone or a group of people getting things done. If your team is just visionary people then you will have lots of dreams, but no reality. Build teams that have a mix of why-types and how-types.

After reading this book I was able to discover my WHY…to break down barriers for kids to get to Jesus. From now on I will filter how I do everything and what I do through that filter.

The people that were successful were not smarter, faster, quicker, wealthier, but they all started with why.

Those are my quick hitters that I learned from this book:

Always start with WHY.

Use manipulations sparingly.

Build teams that have a mix of why-types and how-types.

Read the rest of the book for yourself. There is much more to learn and only a limited amount of time.

How To Win Friends & Influence People Book Review

It amazes me how connected the world is. I believe that we live in the greatest era in history. We have the world at our fingertips. I say this because of an experience that I had a few months ago. I was watching a great #kidmin video that had a forum of kid ministry leaders, Frank Bealer, Andy Kirk, Nathan McLean, and Dave Wakerley. Here is the video I was watching

http://leade3.com/new-a-conversation-with-some-family-ministry-gurus-part-3-of-3/

In this video Frank Bealer talked about finding someone you want to eventually be and learn from them. So I took to twitter and asked Frank a question. Long story short, we spoke on the phone and he recommended the book that I am going to review today, How to Win Friends and Influence People. He told me that I should focus on communication and dealing with people. The rest of ministry is just hard work. So I took his advice and picked up Dale Carnegie‘s book and devoured it.

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a bunch of short chapters which has its positives and negatives. The positive is that you get little snippets, but the negative is that you get a lot of little snippets. It can be a little overwhelming as you get further into the material. The reason why Carnegie wrote this book was as a textbook for the class he was teaching. Carnegie wanted this book to be a text that was revisited over and over again. It wasn’t designed to be learned and remembered in just one sitting. The author wants the reader to read through it multiple times, which is a good thing to practice for most books.

To preface this book, this book is not about manipulation. It is about truly caring and wanting the best for people. When you have the other persons best interest in mind and care not about the results, but about the people involved. When you do that, the results will take care of themselves.

Okay! Now onto the review! Lets take a look at my quick hitters.

Quick Hitters

In this section of the book review, I will point out some sections of the book that I especially liked and will try to use in my own life, character, and/or ministry.

 1. There is a quote by Charles Schwab that is the source of the first thing I want to increase in my life and ministry. It says, “The greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a  person is by appreciation and encouragement.” This has to be done in public and also privately. There is another quote that Carnegie continues to recount throughout the entire book and it says, “Be hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.” I know some of these words are old words. What do you expect from a book from 1936!! It basically means don’t only notice when someone does something well, but let them and others know that he did something well. It doesn’t matter how good your intentions are if you don’t communicate no one will ever hear your heart. This can be accomplished through handwritten cards, volunteer appreciation events, giving thanks from the stage/pulpit, and gifts. Give honest and sincere appreciation.

2. The next principle that I want to make sure is in my life and ministry is being empathetic and seeing life and situations from the other persons’ point of view. This is the crux of the book. The book always points back to this principle. I figured that if I didn’t make this one of my quick hitters I have failed as a reader and as a reviewer. The author states, “If out of reading this book you get just one thing – an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people’s point of view, and see things from their angle – if you get that one thing out of this book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career.”  What a powerful statement and something that you cannot ignore. No matter what field you are in, but especially, in the people-focused field of ministry this statements rings true even after all of these years. Everyone life is different and the way we view the world and experiences is completely different. Look at life through the other person’s point of view.

3. The last quick hitter for How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is dealing with conflict. Now that I have been in ministry for a few years now I have come to realize that when you are dealing with people there is going to be conflict. People are going to let you down and you are going to let people down. We should take some pointers from our Eastern friends and let others save face. There is no need to humiliate and make the person feel like an idiot. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote, “What matters is not what I think of him, but what he things of himself.” Let them know that you believe in them even though you are disappointed. I hate when people just point out something wrong, but don’t try to help the person grow. We are doing no one a favor when we point out an error, but don’t give advice and give them a vote of confidence. Let the other person save face.

There are so many different things in this book that can make each one of us better spouses, parents, leaders, and people. If we can just apply a few of these we will be better for it. One last critique about this book is that it has many different stories in it. It is not just principles and boring materiel, but filled with stories as examples. It is more like a case study with principles being applied. It kept my interest better than other books on the same subject.

Those are my quick hitters for Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People:

1. Give honest and sincere appreciation.

2. Look at life through the other person’s point of view.

3. Let the other person save face.

Read the rest of the book for yourself. There is much more to learn and only a limited amount of time.

 

Winning with People Book Review

John Maxwell, the author of Winning with People writes that there is only one person that is not an other. That is you. Life is filled with people and your success is directly related to how you communicate and deal with others. I am not that big a fun of Maxwell’s book because they are all formatted the same way. There are stories in between lists of principles. His books are filled with number list. After a while the books just drag on and get tedious. If you can get through the repetition there are some good truths that he highlights in his books.

In his book, John Maxwell, talks about 5 (see, a list!) different areas to focus on to win with people:

1. Readiness: Are we prepared for relationships?

2. Connection: Are we willing to focus on others?

3. Trust: Can we build mutual trust?

4. Investment: Are we willing to invest in others?

5. Synergy: Can we create a win-win relationship?

Quick Hitters

In this section of the book review, I will point out some sections of the book that I especially liked and will try to use in my own life, character, and/or ministry.

1. Maxwell talks about the Elevator Principle. Are you going to lift people up or drag them down. Will you and I be subtract, multiply, add, or divide?

People that subtract-we tolerate them

People that multiply – we value them

People that add – we enjoy them

People that divide – we avoid them

To be a multiplier you have to be intentional, strategic, and skilled. These are all learned behaviors, but takes dedication. Let’s strive to be multipliers and add value to people lives.

2. Lord help me to always take the high road. Maxwell talks about the high road principle as going to a higher level when we treat others better than they treat us. I know this seems unrealistic to think that we can treat others better than they treat us. It is just so easy to get ticked off and retaliate, but it just doesn’t help. You never have to agree that what they are doing and how they are treating you is right, but you need to treat them better than they are treating you. When we do this I believe that God will reward us and bless us for our love and grace towards people. We have to always remember that God showed us extreme grace and mercy by sending Jesus to pay our price for our sin. Take the high road and treat others better than they treat you.

3. The last quick hitter for Winning with People is to be their friend. This has always been a challenge for me, because I am so independent. I just don’t think about inviting others on my team to hang out or go somewhere with me. Maxwell talks about how when all things are equal, people will work with people they like; all things not being equal, they still will. Meaning…that our friends are going to serve with us and work with us because they are our friends and we have that type of relationship. Instead of always looking for the next shiny volunteer who is really gifted and always recruiting, build those friendships with the volunteers that you have already recruited. Make sure that you are talking with your team more than just when you need their help. If that happens they will get burned out and not cared for. Build friendships with your team, staff, or volunteers.

These are just three of many different principles that John Maxwell points out to help the reader win with people. I pray that I can win with people, because winning by yourself just isn’t as fun!

Those are my quick hitters for John Maxwell’s book, Winning with People:

1. To be a multiplier (and add value) you have to be intentional, strategic, and skilled.

2. Take the high road and treat others better than they treat you.

3. Build friendships with your staff, team, or volunteers.

Read the rest of the book for yourself. There is much more to learn and only a limited amount of time.

The First 90 Days Book Review

Being so close to the beginning of my ministry career, I envision that I will have a few more transitions and change of ministry positions in the future. I pray that I will be able to stay long term in a ministry position at some point because I see many positives to being at the same organization for an extended amount of time.

Even if you have the great pleasure of being a part of the same organization for a long period of time you will still be faced with other types of transitions and you will most likely guide and train those that recently became a part of your organization. There is much value in knowing how to transition well.

This book, The First 90 Days, written by Michael Watkins, has been recommended to me by a few of my pastors that I serve with and under. The book had some great information that can use in ministry and in all organizations, but has parts that were hard to understand without a business background. Like the title states, this book gives you the most important responsibilities and tasks to do within the first 90 days of your transition. This is a book that should be added to your library and referenced when dealing with any type of organizational transition.

As you make transitions in the future, whether to a new organization or a change in your position let me leave you with my 3 quick hitters that will help all of us make better and quicker transitions.

Quick Hitters

In this section of the book review, I will point out some sections of the book that I especially liked and will try to use in my own life, character, and/or ministry.

1. Accelerate Your Learning. If you are going to a new organization, you have the dilemma of being an outsider not familiar with the organization. Do everything you can to learn about the new organization. Learn everything about the past, present, and future. Get to know the secretaries that have been there forever. Get to know the historians of the organization that can teach you about the culture of the organization. Have as many conversations as you can with those you will be leading. Have private conversations one-on-one and have public conversations with the whole team. Michael Watkins lists many different questions that you should be asking in these conversations. Most of this organizational learning is not found in books and articles, but found in the minds and hearts of those that you will lead and serve. Accelerate Your Learning.

2. My next quick hitter is to evaluate the organization and place them into one of four different situations and act accordingly. For example, you want know how to fix a house or improve your house until you assess what type of house it is and what work needs to get fixed. Watkins describes this as the STARS Model. STARS stands for Start-up, Turnaround, Realignment, and Sustaining Success. Each organization will fit into one of these four situations and will need different approaches and actions. Once you study your organization, evaluate your organization, and place them in the STARS Model, you will have a better grasp on what strategy you should take to lead and improve the organization. Match Strategy to Situation using the STARS Model

3. The final quick hitter that I want to mention about The First 90 Days is secure early wins. When you arrive at a new organization you have zero momentum. Not much can get done and accomplished when there is zero momentum. When you pinpoint ways to build your credibility and secure early wins it will give you momentum. When you have momentum that is when you can take bigger risks and make bigger changes. One of the most basic building blocks of teams is trust. When you get some early wins it will build trust between you and your team and will make it easier for them to follow you and support you. In the early days of your transition the biggest win that you can earn is in personal credibility. Make sure you act like the way you want people to perceive you. They will be watching your every move. Make sure that your expectations are clear, but fair. Secure early wins.

There is a lot more information inside this book that was really good. This is just a little taste of what the book is about. Take the time to read this book so you can be prepared for your next transition.

Those are my quick hitters for Michael Watkins’ book, The First 90 Days:

1. Accelerate Your Learning.

2. Match Strategy to Situation using the STARS Model.

3. Secure Early Wins.

Read the rest of the book for yourself. There is much more to learn and only a limited amount of time.

Making Vision Stick Book Review

Recently I have been trying to read books that address vision casting and getting people excited about what is happening and what can happen in the future. I went to my pastor’s library (don’t tell) and I borrowed one of his books that addressed vision casting. When you are young or poor or both don’t feel like you have to buy all the books that you read. Ask around and someone is bound to have the book that you are interested in reading.

The book that I found in my pastor’s library that day was Making Vision Stick by Andy Stanley. I had heard of this book, but when I saw it for the first time I was shocked. This book is really small and short. Sounds good to me! I have no problem reading a book that only has about 75 pages. I will try to learn from anything; a book that has 500 pages or 50. So I began. It was obviously an easy read, but it did have some very practical ideas to help me cast vision to my team and those I am trying to recruit for various areas of ministry.

Andy Stanley mentions 5 action points that will “significantly increase the adhesiveness of your vision.”

1. State the vision simply

2. Cast the vision convincingly

3. Repeat the vision regularly

4. Celebrate the vision systematically

5. Embrace the vision personally

I don’t have time nor desire to go through each point so I will mention three quick hitters that I want to implement into my life and my ministry.

Quick Hitters

1. I love the equation that Stanley uses to cast the vision convincingly. This is the part of vision casting that I haven’t really done correctly. This gives me a process to cast the vision of the church and of the kids ministry. The author uses the wonderful illustration of Nehemiah in Nehemiah 2:17-18 to articulate how to cast a convincing vision. First, I have to define the problem. Every vision has to address an issue that your team is going to address by accepting the vision. In Nehemiah’s case it was the broken wall. The wall had been broken for many years, but no leader was able to define the problem until Nehemiah came along. Second, I have to offer a solution. Present your vision as the solution to the problem. In Nehemiah’s day the solution was to rebuild the wall. Some times the solution is easy and right in front of you like it was for Nehemiah. Other times, the solution is less obvious and needs some brainstorming and prayer. Third, I have to present a reason. The majority of your team will not buy into your vision or new people will not catch your vision without understanding the why. When your team does not understand the why behind the proposed vision it will not stick. Nehemiah’s “why” is wrapped up in the statement, “and we will no longer be in disgrace.” That’s why they should rebuild the wall and did. Define the problem. Offer a solution. Present a reason.

2. The second quick hitter that I want to implement and remember is to vary the ways that I repeat the vision regularly. Stanley mentions that it is not good enough to vision cast only when you are on stage and in front of your team. You have to repeat the vision using different mediums and techniques so it gets communicated regularly. The author depicts the optimal times for him to cast vision in his context. You have to do the same. Make the most of the times that the majority of your congregation/team is present. Put signs up that cast vision, send emails that cast vision, send out CD’s that cast vision, post videos that cast vision. Cast vision regularly using different mediums.

3. Andy Stanley starts this small book off with mentioning what I believe to be the most important aspect of making your vision stick. It isn’t one of the 5 areas that I mentioned at the beginning of the blog. Stanley mentions a story about the Chairman of Starbucks, Howard Schultz. Schultz sends the CEO of the company a letter that addresses a slip in the vision and the direction of the company. Schultz makes it very clear in this letter that this better get fixed ASAP. The point of this little story about Starbucks is that the responsibility of the leader is to make the vision stick. One can delegate a lot of different responsibilities to other team members and workers, but the vision casting is the responsibility of the leader. Not only is casting the vision the leader’s responsibility, but keeping the ministry on target and going in the direction of the goals and vision is their responsibility as well. Making vision stick is the leader’s responsibility.

All in all I thought this book was practical and had some good tidbits to hold onto and use to cast vision and make the vision stick. This is definitely something that they didn’t teach in Bible college. But I have discovered that there is a lot that I didn’t learn in Bible college. I am grateful for the many authors and their books that have taught me principles and practical steps to make me a better person, leader, and pastor.

Those are my quick hitters for Andy Stanley’s book, Making Vision Stick:

1. Define the problem. Offer a solution. Present a reason.

2. Cast vision regularly using different mediums.

3. Making vision stick is the leader’s responsibility.

Read the rest of the book for yourself. There is much more to learn and only a limited amount of time.

Never Eat Alone Book Review

My pastor came into my office on one occasion and asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was I looking on the internet for some books to read for the next quarter. He left and went into his office, came back, and gave me a book entitled Never Eat Alone. I had never heard of this book. It is a book authored by Keith Ferrazzi and is all about networking and building relationships with colleagues, contacts, friends and mentors. I was eager to read this book after understanding the subject matter and quickly learned a lot from its contents.

I am a self-proclaimed introvert so anything from this book that I actually put into practice will be a win and go a long way in becoming a better people-person. While kids ministry and pastoring is not all about talking and connecting with people a lot of it is. This is something that I continually am working on and striving to better at. Unfortunately, because of our sinful nature, no one is perfect and no one’s personality is perfect. I am not saying that being an extrovert is the better personality, but a healthy balance between the two is perfect. Life is all about being in balance. While most Christians frown upon believing in the “ying” and “yang” principle, there is some truth to the notion of being balanced.

Enough jibber-jabber! Let’s get to the book. Never Eat Alone is a business book that can be useful to anyone in any type of career. Its all about people. Without people the world would be a really dull place. We have a saying at my church that says, “people before programs” Ministry is all about people. Its about hurting people, crazy people, loving people. There is a lot of material in the book, but I will only pick out three things that I hope to introduce into my life and ministry. I encourage you to read this book for the rest of the goodies and informative advice.

One last thing! A few months ago my older brother got married and had his wedding in Florida. I had never really been in an environment where I would meet some high-profile executives or CEO’s. My brother’s wife comes from a pretty wealthy family and invited the CEO of K-Swiss shoes. I had a short conversation with the man, but would have loved to had the knowledge from this book to make a better impression and build a better relationship with a man of such high-stature. I did pretty well in the situation with this CEO so now I can only get better from the experience. I at least had some type of reference point that I could recall as I read this book.

Quick Hitters

In this section of the book review, I will point out some sections of the book that I especially liked and will try to use in my own life, character, and/or ministry.

1. The biggest principle and lesson I learned from this book is the virtue of generosity. Keith Ferrazzi starts the book of by clearly stating that these relationships is a give and take. You give first and than you offer to take. You never use relationships only for your gain. You have to give, give, and give some more. Be on the lookout for ways to give and be a friend. If someone mentions they are tired, offer to babysit their kids. Think about what you have to offer to fix someone’s problem. This is a good principle for recruiting volunteers to serve in your ministry. Offer to give them advice and friendships and anything else. Once that relationship is built, then ask them to get involved. If you never invest in relationships, when you need them it will be too late. Build those relationships and friendships before you need them. Ferrazzi talks about the way to build these relationships and networks is to find a passion. The way to connect and have good conversation is to find something that you have in common. A passion that you both have and can relate to. When you are planning to attend an event or conference do some research so you know the person’s interests and passions. This will make those awkward first conversations less awkward and more rewarding. Be generous towards others and find common passions.

2. The next quick hitter that I want to talk about from the book, Never Eat Alone, is about following up and pinging people. Most people in ministry know the importance of following up with visitors and those that came to an event, but there is more to it. Following up needs to be more intentional with anyone we come in contact with. If it is someone that we want to have a relationship with we need to follow up with them. It might be someone we had a small conversation with, but would like to get to know them better. Follow up with them. Maybe it is someone that we interact with at a conference. Follow up with them. Within 48-hours write them an email. These days you can search on the internet and usually find at least an email address or facebook account to send a follow up message to. Then make contact with them with a phone call to set up a meeting. I believe pinging people goes hand in hand with following up. Pinging is contacting people to stay in touch. This is something that I suck at. I am terrible at staying on contact with people. When I get home from work, the last thing I want to do is ping people. I would rather be like a ostrich and stick my head in the ground. Follow up and Ping constantly.

3. The last principle that I want to mention is the idea of having mentors and mentees. Having a mentor can really help you in many ways. Obviously, having mentors will help you learn and become better in your field, but it will also open up many contacts and relationships. Your mentor will most likely give you a great deal of relationships and introduce you to people that you would not meet otherwise. Their connections will become your connections if you take advantage of the opportunity. Mentors like having people under them that they can teach and shape. They get someone that can do a lot of work and is driven to impress them. It is a win-win relationship for both. Also, you have to be available to mentees to help teach them and help them grow. Teach them and pass on what knowledge you have learned. Seek out mentors and mentees.

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi is a well-written book with very practical steps and principles that can help you connect and network with those you care about. That is what ministry is all about. Caring and connecting with those you care about. This book takes what is in your heart and soul about people and puts feet to it. Check it out.

Those are my quick hitters for Keith Ferrazzi’s book, Never Eat Alone:

1. Be generous towards others and find common passions.

2. Follow up and Ping.

3. Seek out mentors and mentees.

Read the rest of the book for yourself. There is much more to learn and only a limited amount of time.

Developing the Leaders Around You Review

This is the final book review in my current journey to discover how to coach other people and those on my team. I have learned a lot and now is the time to implement these truths and principles and help nurture, equip, and develop new leaders that will do farther greater things than I could do by myself.

Most people have heard of John Maxwell and some of his books are repetitive, but I am still relatively new in ministry so I can still learn from his books and for you Maxwell’s book might be a good reminder. Most of the principles that I learn from books are easy to read and think of how you will make those things come to fruition. It is a little harder to actually implement. That is the difference between followers and leaders. Leaders have the courage. John Maxwell tweeted out a quote by Sydney Smith. The quote is, “A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage.” -Sydney Smith

I pray that I will be someone that has enough courage to be excellent.

Developing the Leaders Around You is a book that gives an overview to developing leaders. It is not that specific of a book, but is a good introduction to the topic of coaching and developing your team. The first half of the book is more introductory and less practical. The second half of the book is more practical in developing your team and leaders. There were some good nuggets in this book that I took away from it. I believe that I can learn something from everything; every experience, every book, every person.

Quick Hitters

In this section of the book review, I will point out some sections of the book that I especially liked and will try to use in my own life, character, and/or ministry.

1. The first nugget that I got from the book, Developing the Leaders Around You, by John Maxwell, is Maxwell’s strategy for training people. Training is a major part in children’s ministry. There are so many volunteers needed to make a children’s ministry successful. Training is taking place constantly. We have a system for training, but it is not defined and written out as well as Maxwell’s. His strategy for training is: Model, Mentor, Monitor, Motivate, Multiply.

Model: I’m doing, You’re watching

Mentor: I’m doing, You’re assisting

Monitor: You’re doing, I’m assisting

Motivate: You’re doing, I’m encouraging

Multiply: You’re teaching, I’m smiling

2. I have been a part of a good number of teams: sports teams, volunteer teams, event teams. I love teams and the positive outcomes of being a part of one. I want the people on my team to have the same great joy that I had being a part of my team. The next quick hitter is to work on forming a dream team. John Maxwell highlights three things that all great teams have: Common Goal, Cooperation, and Communication.

In kid’s ministry you would think that all have the same goal: to disciple kids. But a lot of the time, people get involved in ministry for other reasons. They want to get a piece of paper signed for volunteering, they want to watch their own kids, they think they can do a better job then someone else. People always have some motive. It is important to speak vision and communicate the goal. When the goal has been completed, make sure it gets mentioned so your team knows what a ‘win’ looks like.

Your team needs to cooperate with each other to be a great team. This involves trust. Without trust, the team members will not want to cooperate and listen to you or their teammates. To have a team that cooperates it is important to pick winners to be on your team. You need to be able to identify people that are not going to cooperate. Don’t give up on these people, but they need to understand the expectations of the team and are willing to be a part of the team.

The last thing is communication. Communication is huge. Without communication the team has no direction. Communication needs to take place between the leader and the team. It also needs to happen between teammates. This is the part I struggle with, but like I said the other day to someone, I am a work in progress. I’m okay with that and hope I am always at a place where I am a work in progress.

Without a common goal, cooperation, and communication the team has no chance of winning. Period.

3. The last quick hitter is probably the biggest nugget that I learned from Developing the Leaders Around You, and is about changing from being a manager to a leader. As much as I want to say that I am a leader, I have some managing qualities that I need to re-learn into leading qualities. One of the biggest ways to learn how to be someone, in this instance, a leader, is to understand the person’s thoughts. Maxwell outlines some things that a leader should be thinking. I am going to try my best to start thinking more like a leader and less like a manager.

Leaders Think Big.

Leaders Think In Terms of Other People.

Leaders Think Continually.

Leaders Think Bottom Line.

Leaders Think Without Lines.

Leaders Think In Teams of Intangibles.

Leaders Think Quickly

The mind is a powerful thing and dictates every action that you make. If I can get my mind to think about the correct priorities that will help me lead. Some of these I am better at than others. Evaluate yourself in terms of these principles and see what ways you need to improve your thinking. Think like a leader not a manager.

Those are my Quick Hitters:

1. Model, Mentor, Monitor, Motivate, Multiply.

2. Without a common goal, cooperation, and communication the team has no chance of winning.

3. Think like a leader not a manager.

Read the rest of the book for yourself. There is much more to learn and only a limited amount of time.